I was struck by a question and my response on the way of work todayWork colleague "You know that you don't get gold stars for being here don't you (referring to the fact that I had taken an additional shift when requested that was highly uncomfortable)?"Me "No I really didn't have anything else to do with my time."
The truth of the matter struck me like a hammer. I really don't have that much I actually "Have" to do. I get up and go to work, I have very little in the way of social interaction, sure I talk but these are not real relationships, and generally the major problems of the day are pretty minor in the scope of things. But I really don't have to get up and work like I do and especially work at nights. it's not like it is a job where i really think or develop and it has become my life.
Its a life that is nothing like what I wanted to do when I was a child or teenager or even young adult but it is something which I have come to enjoy. I have enjoyed not having to fight for a job, not having to hold back the madness of daily life, not having to contain my empathic abilities from lack of use, not having to continually think about anything of value. Unfortunately it has made me complacent as I have very little in my life that I really "need" except the company of people I happen to like.
It gave me a wake up call, now I have to do something with it or this little bit of wonder may remain guttering in the dark.
The truth of the matter struck me like a hammer. I really don't have that much I actually "Have" to do. I get up and go to work, I have very little in the way of social interaction, sure I talk but these are not real relationships, and generally the major problems of the day are pretty minor in the scope of things. But I really don't have to get up and work like I do and especially work at nights. it's not like it is a job where i really think or develop and it has become my life.
Its a life that is nothing like what I wanted to do when I was a child or teenager or even young adult but it is something which I have come to enjoy. I have enjoyed not having to fight for a job, not having to hold back the madness of daily life, not having to contain my empathic abilities from lack of use, not having to continually think about anything of value. Unfortunately it has made me complacent as I have very little in my life that I really "need" except the company of people I happen to like.
It gave me a wake up call, now I have to do something with it or this little bit of wonder may remain guttering in the dark.
No comments:
Post a Comment